There is calm in this craziness

Life has been pretty crazy and unexpected lately. The things that I can add to my "things I've done in my lifetime" list are so diverse and random.

It's been a lot of shows lately. Lots of new music discovered. Lots of new activities and personal social experiments. Lots of new perspectives. Lots to soak in and learn about myself and how I react.

I've been thinking lately about how I think I'm shaping my life in one direction, and I get completely sideblinded. Sometimes for the worse, but even more beautifully, sometimes for the better. Sometimes it's small moments when I look at where I am, who I am, what I'm doing, what my philosophy and perspective on everything is... and it's in that moment that I realize that I'm proud of WHO I'VE BECOME.

Don't get me wrong, I've made TONs of mistakes. I'm not perfect. But I guess the reason why I'm proud of myself is because I always pick myself back up. If there's one thing I've learned about myself in the midst of this craziness, it's that I will always, inevitably, and unwaveringly SURVIVE.

I've been betrayed by those closest to me. I've been lied to by people who believe the lies themselves. I've been pushed down to be told that I will never be capable of getting back up. I've known what it's like to be so fragile and about to break.

...But I don't break. I don't crumble. I don't shatter.

I'm not sure what's next, but I'm sure of who I am.

This Past Week

Lately I've been going out so much and going to shows that I haven't really had a moment to just sit and be.

I have the next 15 minutes. Here we go.

Last weekend I went and saw the Joy Formidable. Mind blown. Hearing/seeing/experiencing "Whirring" and "Abacus" live was extraordinary. Gaurds opened for them. They were pretty spiffy too. 

Then we went to festival of colors at the Holi Krishna temple. SO FUN! It's an Indian tradition of spreading around bright colors to celebrate spring and new beginnings. It's fun to think about the chaotic unknown that we embark on each spring. We got covered in color. It took 3 times shampooing my hair to get it all out. My car is still covered in a tie die dust.

The other night I went to see Minus the bear up at Park City Live. Such a fun show. The openers were Envy Corps and Everest. I thoroughly enjoyed both to the point that I had to remind myself that these guys were the openers and I was originally there for Minus the Bear. I absolutely love when bands feel the most alive when they are on stage performing and feeding off the crowd. Everest was definitely that band.

Minus the Bear was an experience. Not the craziest performance, but I was into it. I especially loved when the keyboardist in effort to express his intensity, started rocking his boards... Like literally moving his boards back and forth off the stands. Shaggy hair and all.

One band that keeps popping up on my pandora to the point where I just need to pay attention already is Band of Horses. Good stuff.

Part of me doesn't want to say this, but I'll just put it out there. I've decided to start writing again. Moleskin journals and all. It's time for my insomnia to be put to use and to explore more coffee shops downtown.